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I am going to San Antonio tomorrow to do 5 shows at the LOL comedy club. I am looking forward to isolating in my... http://t.co/K3ahoiMrJR

Updated 12 seconds ago

Hollywood Improv

Dont miss the @SullivanTBS Comedy Tour featuring @stevebyrnelive & more! Stop by tonight at 8pm http://t.co/GSeF6Jkhyp

Updated 24 seconds ago

Josh Wolf

@ClayTravisBGID the show is in Florida, too.

Updated 1 minutes ago

Phil Johnson

Get your cowboy hat on! Check out these modern spaghetti western tracks I just released: http://t.co/fVFTydxlib

Updated 1 minutes ago

Funny Tweets

do you ever feel people staring at you and you like forget how to walk

Updated 1 minutes ago

Kirk Fox

I'm not very social. I'm more of a socialite.

Updated 1 minutes ago

Jessica Kirson

I highly doubt the woman giving me a pedicure is named, "Gloria".

Updated 2 minutes ago

Eric Schwartz

Look who was at my show at @LaughFactory last night: @SteveWoz! #iGeekedOut #SegwayValet #Apple #... http://t.co/LTHcYfbbVl

Updated 2 minutes ago

Aida Rodriguez

I am a firm believer that Yoga pants have ulterior motives. #gymtruths�

Updated 2 minutes ago

Schmoes Know

In case you missed our review of Monsters U http://t.co/hjM5QEvDXZ http://t.co/LgwofzYCCd

Updated 3 minutes ago

Aida Rodriguez

I am a firm believer that Yoga pants have ulterior motives.

Updated 3 minutes ago

Chad Riden

Two knives as chopsticks to eat a salad in a sports bar = we might have to fight our way outta here� http://t.co/AOCjXW4JXG

Updated 3 minutes ago

Josh Wolf

@TheGiddinge ha!

Updated 3 minutes ago

Frank Prather

If you want to find a dead body, try looking in a place no sane person would ever go. Jimmy Hoff is clearly in Amanda Byne's vagina.

Updated 3 minutes ago

Mark Watson

@ChrisPollington @MagnificentJosh Absolutely. I like to see creativity.

Updated 3 minutes ago

Sean OConnor

@NicksTurners awe man!

Updated 4 minutes ago

Dartanion London

@stalkerfarms Good point. They fired the last guy that had to.

Updated 4 minutes ago

Michael Ian Black

RT @popcandy: On your lunch break today, download the first ep of @topicspodcast w/ @michaelianblack and @mshowalter: http://t.co/dwvt6uz0jX

Updated 5 minutes ago

Josh Wolf

@ClayTravisBGID I have a fucking show that is going to be empty

Updated 5 minutes ago

Dwayne Perkins

Game 6: Epic. #NBA

Updated 5 minutes ago

Regina DeCicco

SHOUT OUT to RIHAN @lennysnyc on West 9th! Go get your FREE Iced Tea,Water or Soda when you order a Lenny's All Time Favorite Sandwich #DoIt

Updated 5 minutes ago

Josh Wolf

@coydroy @theclaycook step two, never say weiners

Updated 6 minutes ago

Bill Burr

@TheBear_II I performed in Austin two months ago.

Updated 6 minutes ago

Sean Kent

I wasn't totally expecting showing the movie Grease to my daughters to turn into a discussion on the history of abortion rights.

Updated 6 minutes ago

Lisa Lampanelli

George Lucas thx black people for �NCAA� award at Emmys. Long as he didn�t call anyone the N-word. Some people are so sensitive about that!

Updated 6 minutes ago

Dwayne Perkins

@Super_Saint90 real talk.

Updated 6 minutes ago

Matt Mitchell

We're expecting! a lil bundle of joy! Yes! We are anxiously awaiting our mini-fridge to arrive at the office!

Updated 6 minutes ago

Josh Wolf

@erika_miller @iamscottwolf @JoshandRoss he done good

Updated 7 minutes ago

Josh Wolf

Thx! RT @Jamar5216: Just finished reading @joshwolfcomedy's book. HILARIOUS!! Vegas and dad competition are the best. #houstonwehaveaproblem

Updated 7 minutes ago

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