TWO @NHL playoff games tonight, with both Rangers & Hawks on the brink of elimination. Bruins & Wings looking to move on. #OriginalSixTeams
Updated 36 seconds ago
Hey @jimmyfallon - you will dig this kid, rapper Benz Brady (son of Bow Chicka Bow Wow).
You should Ellen him!
http://t.co/D5v7jr2uVP
Updated 44 seconds ago
Im at the airport and I just took a gander at some old ass feet. What yal doin?
Updated 1 minutes ago
Devendra Banhart - Mi Negrita (Daniele Di Martino Edit) http://t.co/Oip8aIlSlU
Updated 2 minutes ago
Yes! Well spotted. And I'm holding the hand of a giant baby. RT @giddypop: http://t.co/NrwzqXmAdh @RealMattLucas is this you in Vienna?
Updated 2 minutes ago
I thought about following Ellen but my life is already full of enough stupid shit as it is
Updated 3 minutes ago
RT @studiesincrap: While you're waiting for Arrested Development, it's a really good idea to try Comedy Bang Bang, also on streaming.
Updated 4 minutes ago
Getting jimmy buffetted around on this windy weekend
Updated 4 minutes ago
neighbours seem to be using room next to Boy's as some kind of Total Wipeout game room. Im using bedroom to mutter "fucking CUNTS" a lot
Updated 4 minutes ago
$ is the new Lil'
Updated 4 minutes ago
@RayLivosi Arab and Muslim dont mean same thing - 70% of Arabs in US are Christian. Id stick to the Sinatra stuff, comedy isnt ur strength
Updated 4 minutes ago
RT @elonmusk: In reality, 97% of scientists agree that we face serious human generated climate change http://t.co/soQCnJB61B
Updated 5 minutes ago
Hub's gig cancelled. Im allowed some drinking time
Updated 5 minutes ago
RT @elonmusk: Climate change deniers claim "scientists disagree", same rebuttal used by tobacco industry about lung cancer for decades
Updated 5 minutes ago
do you think @TedNguyen ever get tired of being mistaken for @TedNugent on twitter?
Updated 6 minutes ago
chloe is the kardashian you get when the other kardashians join together like voltron.
Updated 7 minutes ago
I'm so hung over, I look like I should be working at a Kohl's.
Updated 8 minutes ago
Just drove around for 20 min looking for coffee. Nothing was open. IN AMERICA! #memorialday
Updated 9 minutes ago
Give a lady a motorboat. Give a shemale a TUGboat.
Updated 9 minutes ago
This woman just told her friend at Subway "Just order whatever you want for me"... Ummm it doesn't work like that, there's A LOT of options.
Updated 10 minutes ago
Someone anonymous just donated a grand! Thanks @AnonyOps ! http://t.co/ueMNwDnidu
Updated 11 minutes ago
"But do you have any butter?" #cartoon03 #03 #butter #diner #heartattack http://t.co/o7iaLO6se9
Updated 11 minutes ago
This is the bottom of the page....
