Bands: putting me on your guest list is not enough. You also must give me at least 2 of the drink tickets given to you by the venue.
Updated 12 seconds ago
When I'm grilling I never ask my guests if they want cheese on their burgers cuz get the hell out of my house if you don't.
Updated 15 seconds ago
If u drink hard stuff every day as much as u can n cant function till 7 the next night is that bad 4 u ?
Updated 44 seconds ago
RT @VogtRoberts: TONIGHT AT 7:40: Me & @DougBenson are doing a special Kings of Summer screening and Q&A with cast. Come! Seriously! http:
Updated 48 seconds ago
It's the tunnel from Terminator and the theme song from Taxi! https://t.co/cvbs3NnAI6
Updated 49 seconds ago
@WholeLottaJulie Oh boy... Diabetes is going to look like a common cold next to this one...
Updated 50 seconds ago
Today I lead the prayer on Skidrow, I hope the fella upstairs dont ignore it cause' of the stuff i did last night Lol #messagenotmessenger
Updated 1 minutes ago
@OnPointCelebz Beauty is in attitude. Radiate from the inside, you'll be surprised by those that can see it. Shower and dress nice helps!
Updated 1 minutes ago
Steady squatching with Dr. Jefferey Meldrum in the Higher Primate studio http://t.co/08wxJ9E4Bz
Updated 1 minutes ago
Happy birthday Moe Howard of @TheThreeStooges! Are you a Moe, a Larry or a Curly? http://t.co/sZ9loC7BRH
Updated 1 minutes ago
Too bad you'd need to be a millionaire to afford these sp http://t.co/h8S6dxPZuq
Updated 2 minutes ago
Was gonna get on a dating website but instead I just bought a dog.
Updated 2 minutes ago
@LucasBetta naw, it's better this way for consumers. there's no logic in screwing someone JUST to stick to a bad policy.
Updated 3 minutes ago
Guys I have a confession that I've been hiding from you for a long time. I played the role of Roxie on Hannah Montana.
Updated 3 minutes ago
RT @JamesStephen78: @BILLBELLAMY @Ali_Speaks @ItsDLai: Big birthday s/o the the homie @ComedianJReid and many more. #Salute my brother. #N
Updated 3 minutes ago
RT @FlappersComedy: Join host @flipschultz for Flappers Industry Showcase featuring some of the hottest up and coming comics in LA- 10pm To
Updated 4 minutes ago
My spirit animal is a Teddy Graham
Updated 4 minutes ago
RT @dankmccoy: This deranged millionaire is dangerous. If you see him on tonight's #DailyShow DO NOT ENGAGE. http://t.co/e56qrUVsO0 @JohnHo
Updated 4 minutes ago
RT @caitibeth: Yeezus is #1 in 31 countries. Buy it here:
http://t.co/3hGU7BxKQF #idj #yeezyseason
Updated 4 minutes ago
This week's @PWStories has appeared on itunes. @abiroberts "An Unorthodox Orthodox Russian" - https://t.co/vjX6mMZjsJ http://t.co/CikW34oKLs
Updated 4 minutes ago
@RealPaulaBel @WeFeedTheHungry I just treated myself to "Big Mamas & Papas" spaghetti Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Updated 4 minutes ago
RT @djenuff: Danny Brown Featuring A$AP Rocky & Zelooperz 'Kush Coma' [Audio] http://t.co/yJFinOJO9z
Updated 4 minutes ago
Gonna pick my July #DiceChick this week!To enter: send,name,age,contact info& 3pics to DiceChickModel@gmail.com MUST BE OVER18 & A DICE FAN
Updated 4 minutes ago
I went on Craig Ferguson 2 promote @TheHeatMovie which comes out next Friday. Go see it!! If u do, I'll buy u a pony. http://t.co/RJnQXoz6TQ
Updated 4 minutes ago
This is the bottom of the page....
