RT @zachheltzel: Mountain Dew is not a beverage. It's a lifestyle.
Updated 18 seconds ago
Uhhh it looks Like this Bytch #nose is on #upSideDown
Updated 51 seconds ago
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Unless you're just sick of the mother f*cker.
Updated 1 minutes ago
#threewords respect the legend
Updated 1 minutes ago
employees passing out 'Obama phones' to people who say they'll SELL them for drugs, shoes, handbags and cash http://t.co/cP6WloHxIP
Updated 1 minutes ago
Karma better be a bitch!
Updated 2 minutes ago
@LornestoToledo I doubt that. Using a hack piece of sarcasm, with no wit, joy, or heart -- I'm gone, baby. Bye.
Updated 2 minutes ago
RT @bridgetmcmanus: Today's AFTERNOON DELIGHT stars @jamiebabbit @MelissaEtheridge @SuzeOrmanShow @JessicaKirson and more!
http://t.co/02ut …
Updated 2 minutes ago
My battery is dying just like all of us. So I'll just confess it now. I killed Mar
Updated 2 minutes ago
I can't make jokes about anyone in my life that I am still really angry at. There are a couple of people I can't... http://t.co/gxPOpPJfLg
Updated 3 minutes ago
RT @SideshowNetwork: New Podcast Episode! The Pete and Sebastian Show #37 http://t.co/4jNspKsFLR
Updated 3 minutes ago
@MattNeed Just heard @stevemcgrew on 24/7 Comedy... it's nice to associate a recognizable voice with funny ... http://t.co/uOqF9lXTbW
Updated 4 minutes ago
RT @Stupordaveinc: Am I alone or has no one EVER seen @joederosacomedy or @JudahWorldChamp in the same place at the same time?
Updated 4 minutes ago
I guess no famous men ever committed suicide. Where can I get those tights again?
http://t.co/uA3Fu6XKM7
Updated 4 minutes ago
Aaron Hernandez dumb mexican
Updated 4 minutes ago
#ItKillsMeWhen I get to the 1200th page of whatever 1200 page book I'm currently reading
Updated 5 minutes ago
@BiffSweetwaters head to @theComedyMIX in Vancouver
It's the best club in town. Plus hotties like @ShazamBliss work there mm maybe july ha
Updated 5 minutes ago
Watching the Grand Rapids Griffins on this web site. You can get a live stream of the game (for free with... http://t.co/ePZqJRKPgO
Updated 5 minutes ago
RT @MattNeed: Just heard @stevemcgrew on 24/7 Comedy... it's nice to associate a recognizable voice with funny stuff - puts me in a good mo…
Updated 6 minutes ago
@gspotthemaster Im trying to get do something like that , would they undersatand me ha
Updated 6 minutes ago
There are plenty of seats available but this lunatic just sat right next to me. Gonna make it extra weird by taking pics of her and I
Updated 6 minutes ago
RT @thelizcarey: I always feel with @fortunefunny I am always "yo girl" and she is all "no girl". http://t.co/66oEyXyRKX
Updated 6 minutes ago
.@Alflamont knows the way to my heart: vintage Fresca bottles. Follow him, he's swell. The End. http://t.co/M3rlqjp5QW
Updated 7 minutes ago
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