I bet girls that watch hockey have tight vaginas. I've been doing kegel's this entire #StanleyCup game.
Updated 27 seconds ago
RT @danacarvey: In a thousand thousand years humans will watch and be moved by James Gandolfini's brilliant work of art ""Tony Soprano."
Updated 1 minutes ago
RT @LouisPeitzman: Ugh, do I have to write the Slate piece defending Paula Deen?
Updated 1 minutes ago
Maybe when you die your soul goes to a rave and dances like a college girl on X. Or maybe it just floats up like a bad fart and drifts away.
Updated 2 minutes ago
@RichStrehl those people feel they are smarter than everyone else and that they must let everyone know that. It's actually quite comical.
Updated 2 minutes ago
RT @thejoshuablog: TRUMP'S TWEET BEFORE HE DELETED IT ---> RT @realDonaldTrump: If Obamacare wasn't enacted, James Gandolfini would still b…
Updated 2 minutes ago
Filing a police report so I can get a refund on the Russian dashcam my mailman stole. What're you guys up to?
Updated 3 minutes ago
@RichStrehl irritates me too but I guess some people think if they don't like something than no one should be allowed to enjoy it.
Updated 3 minutes ago
something hockey! something something hockey hockey!!
Updated 3 minutes ago
On July 12 I'll be at The Pantages Theater in Tacoma, WA, which has become very artsy http://t.co/dKKDle8kqi
Updated 3 minutes ago
I wanna go for my night walk but this Bruins vs Blackhawks game wont let me go OT #NHL
Updated 4 minutes ago
Wish I could answer everybody tonight but thanks for the awesome tweets about the show tonight. Ill keep em comin' you keep watchin'!
Updated 4 minutes ago
RT @YourAnonNews: Co-founder of Minutemen border patrol vigilante group arrested on child sex charges http://t.co/1nVb3NUNfq
Updated 5 minutes ago
Watching the hockey game while I cut fruit so it will fit into my juicer. If that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass. #manshiz
Updated 5 minutes ago
The process of putting a man on the moon went smoother than every attempt to ever deliver a package to my apartment.
Updated 5 minutes ago
So Paula Deen is Michael Richards' mother?
Updated 5 minutes ago
I'll never change this is always me.-Hov
Updated 6 minutes ago
RT @CoryNChad: “@JoeyMedinaComic: RIP James Gandolfini. Shocking news” very sad news #sopranos
Updated 6 minutes ago
You dirty, dirty girls. RT @aprildgregory @mchastain81 I was just saying, "I need this game to end so I can shower." @stephenkruiser
Updated 6 minutes ago
RT @DoubleDag: @latinlaf @JoeyMedinaComic Dude! RT and pass this along... Repeal Florida House Bill 49 (The Bong Ban) http://t.co/LEcYeBPGC …
Updated 6 minutes ago
It's hard to accept that no one is interested in you. A rapist would tell me that he just wants to be friends...
Updated 6 minutes ago
CNN website says, "Royal baby's birth plans revealed." Just down the chute, I'd imagine.
Updated 6 minutes ago
Using refracted light and half-heard whispers my imaginary agent Tabitha has assured me I am not up for a role in the new Star Wars.
Updated 7 minutes ago
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