Following
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84
Followers
6765
6765
Twitter Name: @amyschumer
Website: http://www.amyschumer.com
Location: nyc
Description: www.amyschumer.com
Website: http://www.amyschumer.com
Location: nyc
Description: www.amyschumer.com
Searching for Amy Schumer on YouTube...
A guy just whistled at me. Yeah it was a rape whistle, but I'm counting it!
Updated 4 hours ago
I am on O and A on Monday!!! Woohoo!
Updated 14 hours ago
What's it called when the guy has that extra skin on his penis? Gross?
Updated 1 day(s) ago
RT @NickG420: @JimNorton Who is opening for you in ATL? Please say the lovely Amy Schumer...I would literally eat her ass after a bout ...
Updated 2 day(s) ago
Don't remember what we were talking about from the looks of him, effing kids http://yfrog.com/0jnj4ij
Updated 2 day(s) ago
The M.S. foundation just sent me free stationary for donating to them. It almost makes it seem worth it!
Updated 2 day(s) ago
too hungover to get a pedicure. Who's living an adult life?
Updated 2 day(s) ago
RT @kumailn: Hilarious comic @hannibalburess had a new cd out. You MUST buy it. http://www.amazon.com/My-Name-Hannibal-Buress/dp/B003TVQPAQ
Updated 3 day(s) ago
look who's in the middle http://bauergriffinonline.com/2010/07/bfm_enlarged/enlarged-larry-david-plays-ball.php?bfm_index=12&bfm_page=1
Updated 4 day(s) ago
I need a man who thinks of making your hand fall asleep so it feels like someone else is doing it when I say "The Stranger", not Camus
Updated 4 day(s) ago
My advice on cosmo http://www.cosmopolitan.com/celebrity/fashion-show/#v275237806001
Updated 4 day(s) ago
First day on set filming an episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" tomorrow, Wish me luck!
Updated 6 day(s) ago
I'm against adoption. Unless it's a highway. Because that effects us all
Updated 6 day(s) ago
Just saw a shirt "Run For HIV". Don't you mean from?
Updated 9 day(s) ago
RT @RachelFeinstein: I'm headlining Gotham Comedy Club tomorrow night, 212.367.9000.Just put new short sketches up on my site. wwww.rach ...
Updated 11 day(s) ago
RT @markhoppus: Under "occupation," I never know what to write: "bass player," "bassist," or "not good at guitar."
Updated 13 day(s) ago
RT @robhuebel: Just saw the ugliest small child ever. Whispered in his ear "you are bumming everybody out..."
Updated 13 day(s) ago
I have a really bad scar from this accident that happened when I was 18. It's on my lower back and is a tattoo.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
Uh oh mr crabby pants I think somebody needs to rewatch the movie "what Women Want"
Updated 15 day(s) ago
Hatian cab driver singing "California Girls" at the top of his lungs. Joy
Updated 16 day(s) ago
Saw my suitcase being put airplane from inside the terminal. Waved smiled felt warm realized its the closest ill come to having a child
Updated 16 day(s) ago
@Just_For_Laughs more like Justforblackingoutandwakinginafrenchcanadianwaitress'sstudio. NETWORKING!!!!
Updated 16 day(s) ago
RT @NikkiGlaser: I accidentally shaved myself while cutting this morning. I'm trying to get rid of the pain, not the hair!
Updated 16 day(s) ago
More Mel quotes! Lord hear our prayer
Updated 17 day(s) ago
RT @SethMaser: You still have time to vote for @MyqKaplan and @RachelFeinstein on www.NBC.com for Last Comic Standing.
Updated 18 day(s) ago
I feel bad for those chicks on "You're Cut Off" I know what they feel like. I mean not finacially, but I get thrown out of bars a lot.
Updated 18 day(s) ago
Sitting in the airport watching @JoeMande eat a chocolate croissant if you know what I mean. look out Montreal here we come!
Updated 19 day(s) ago
Women's magazine's please more articles on losing baby weight!!!!
Updated 20 day(s) ago
RT @NikkiGlaser: Who's coming tonight?? http://skirballcenter.nyu.edu/calendar/smarter_sex_standup_comedy_special
Updated 21 day(s) ago
RT @RachelFeinstein: Come 2 a taping w @marinafranklin,@nikkiglazer,@amyschumer and me http://skirballcenter.nyu.edu/calendar/smarter_se ...
Updated 23 day(s) ago
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