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Twitter Name: @austinbires
Website: http://www.austinbires.com
Location: South Carolina
Description: I'm an amateur stand up comic, who lives off of cold coffee, warm Red Bull, and room temperature sarcasm...
Website: http://www.austinbires.com
Location: South Carolina
Description: I'm an amateur stand up comic, who lives off of cold coffee, warm Red Bull, and room temperature sarcasm...
Searching for Austin Bires on YouTube...
My wife recently asked me if I ever fantasized she was someone else. "No, but from time to time I do fantasize you are someplace else."
Updated 6 day(s) ago
Just wondering...is it possible to have a one night stand with a paraplegic?
Updated 24 day(s) ago
At a recent press conference, President Obama misunderstood a question regarding the size of his "package"... http://twitpic.com/1yi88m
Updated More than a month ago
#Letsbehonest Ladies are confusing. They claim men and women are equals, then label me a pervert for wearing their panties...
Updated More than a month ago
I don't understand some of these ladies today. They claim men and women are equals, then label me a pervert for wearing their panties...
Updated More than a month ago
#ICouldNeverDate myself. I've tried many times, but it always ends up in sex.
Updated More than a month ago
RT If Your Single and don't know the proper grammar usage of "you're" and "your"...
Updated More than a month ago
#iloveimmigrants Because the simple act of them coming here reminds us of how great our country is...
Updated More than a month ago
I wonder how this road got its name. Maybe it's where... http://twitpic.com/1jimfr
Updated More than a month ago
If you and your dream girl were stuck in the middle of the desert naked, would you rather be limp with shoes on, or #hardwithoutshoes on?
Updated More than a month ago
Jesus I Love You doing my yard work with such enthusiasm, but if you don't do a better job with the edger you're fired...
Updated More than a month ago
I wonder if the people of Haiti are planning a benefit fundraiser for the earthquake victims in southern California...
Updated More than a month ago
He Is Risen. Oh, it's Easter? I was just trying to tell my wife I was in the mood...
Updated More than a month ago
#IKnewItWasLove when the doctor said it wasn't just gas. Then I farted and proved him wrong. Guess it wasn't love after all...
Updated More than a month ago
Sony, Yamaha, Kenwood, Pioneer, JVC, Clarion, JBL... There are just too many #stereotypes these days...
Updated More than a month ago
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