Following
879
879
Followers
1142
1142
Twitter Name: @btmclaughlin
Website: http://brendanmclaughlin.com/
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Description: Stand-up Comic, Writer, Soda Jerk
Website: http://brendanmclaughlin.com/
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Description: Stand-up Comic, Writer, Soda Jerk
Profile Link: http://comedytweet.com/Brendan_McLaughlin
Any time I'm not sure whether I'm in a library or a bookstore, I urinate in the corner and see if anyone says anything.
Updated 25 minutes ago
"I've had it with this loud nose blowing guy." - someone else in this coffee shop talking about me
Updated 39 minutes ago
Yes please. RT @EmmaKat Hey you! Yes, you with the great taste in podcasts! Check out @laughspincom radio! http://t.co/g5zWM7ij
Updated 18 hours ago
Donna Summer's death means that John Travolta is now Disco's queen.
Updated 21 hours ago
Michael Caine says he didn't really get locked in an attic. Can someone lock him in one so my last tweet will make sense?
Updated 21 hours ago
Michael Caine was locked in an attic overnight. "You sit up there and you think about 'Jaws 4.'"
Updated 22 hours ago
Thanks for the tip! I'll alert my Hayden Peni-ttiere! RT @HuffingtonPost Hayden Panettiere shows skin in tiny dress http://t.co/m76y7nuM
Updated 1 day(s) ago
"I put coffee in a mug thats had tea in it, and now I have a weird taste in my mouth." "Thats why youre missing work today Brendan?" "Yes."
Updated 1 day(s) ago
Walked into a pizza joint with a TV set just in time for the sex scene in "Death Wish 3." INCREDIBLE!!!
Updated 1 day(s) ago
People type "wfh" in emails rather than spell out "working from home" because they're so busy GOING TO TOWN on themselves.
Updated 1 day(s) ago
The Swedish version of "The Girl Who Played With Fire" was called "The Plot That Was Filled With Coincidences."
Updated 1 day(s) ago
You know if Sound Of Music happened now Rolf would still text Liesl after handing her family over to the Nazis. "u out?"
Updated 1 day(s) ago
I think I'd be pretty understanding if my wife left me for someone who made really good homemade salsa.
Updated 1 day(s) ago
All new map of best fingering spots printed on recycled paper! RT @NY1headlines Brooklyn Botanic Garden Opens Green Visitors Center
Updated 1 day(s) ago
Pushing that button to make the light change faster doesnt save me any time because I spend at least 8 minutes scrubbing my hands afterwards
Updated 2 day(s) ago
"Then the wolf went and got his butt plugs." #FiftyShadesOfTheGrey
Updated 3 day(s) ago
Did you know that asparagus makes you sniff your pee?
Updated 3 day(s) ago
No joke: a girl I don't know RUBBED MY ASS for an hour at the 8:00 @robdelaney show on Friday. Check out this blog post http://t.co/A0fEBrpF
Updated 3 day(s) ago
Someone snapped a shot of me arriving at my local coffee shop just as they sold their last croissant: http://t.co/GU4cmExM
Updated 4 day(s) ago
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