Shows this wknd: Thu: Palace, Waterbury, CY. Fri: Bergen PAC, Englewood, NJ. Sat: Count Basie, Red Bank, NJ. Sun: Sands, Bethlehem, PA.
Updated 9 day(s) ago
Maxim Magazine, May issue, "How To" section, has a thing about me. I don't know "how to" do much, so it's kind of cool.
Updated 15 day(s) ago
If I was sentenced to "hard labor," I'd ask my attorney to try to get it reduced to "light housework."
Updated 16 day(s) ago
Shows this wknd, May 2,3,&4 Tuacahn Amphitheater, Ivins, UT. Cool, outdoor venue.
Updated 16 day(s) ago
Why does it take the elev8r Hampton Inn longer to get to the 3rd floor than it takes the elev8r @ The Empire State Bldg to get to the top?
Updated 17 day(s) ago
The college football playoff will be called The College Football Playoff. "OK, what should we call the college football playoff? Any ideas?"
Updated 24 day(s) ago
R.I.P. Jonathon Winters. He was one of my favorite comedians. Used to love the "Ad Lib" part of his TV show when I was a kid.
Updated posted April 13, 2013, 11:02 am
If you tell a kid not to run to a water slide, he/she will walk for 2 steps, then start running again.
Updated posted April 12, 2013, 2:20 pm
Shows this wknd: Thu in Muncie, IN. Fri in Appleton, WI. Sat in Grand Rapids, MI. Sun in Greensburg, PA. I call it the MuApGraGre Tour.
Updated posted March 12, 2013, 6:28 pm
Maybe the black smoke simply means they need a new chimney sweep.
Updated posted March 12, 2013, 5:22 pm
Maybe a THIRD orange cone would have prevented the footprint? http://t.co/oxoIdcSY8D
Updated posted February 23, 2013, 9:35 pm
Texas run this weekend: Thu in Ft Worth, Fri in Austin, Sat in Midland, Sun in Amarillo.
Updated posted February 21, 2013, 11:28 am
I did a VO for Looney Tunes. Episode called "Spread Your Wings And Fly" airs tonite on Cartoon Network 7:30. Was fun to do. Hope you like.
Updated posted February 12, 2013, 11:27 am
Hey All, Florida shows this wknd: Thu in Ft Myers, Fri in Tampa, Sat in Melbourne, Sun in Coral Springs. Hope you can check one out.
Updated posted February 12, 2013, 11:17 am
Hey, people with backpacks boarding flights! Your backpacks are hitting people in the face behind you. (In case you care in the slightest.)
Updated posted February 11, 2013, 7:38 pm
Taped Ron White's Salute to the Troops last night along with Josh Blue, John Caparulo, Kathleen Madigan, & Ralphie May. Coming soon to CMT.
Updated posted February 7, 2013, 3:06 pm
Tickets are on sale today for my Red Rocks show in Denver Fri, Aug 9th.
Updated posted February 1, 2013, 2:23 pm
"Deer-antler velvet extract spray." I think if that product ever wants to go mainstream, they're gonna have to tighten up that name.
Updated posted January 30, 2013, 1:54 am
Do people who believe in reincarnation ever say, "Darn, I'm still writing the year 1612 on my checks!"
Updated posted January 29, 2013, 10:13 am
Freezing weather with a winter hat is 10,000 times easier to endure than freezing weather without a winter hat.
Updated posted January 2, 2013, 5:14 pm
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