Following
53
53
Followers
2811
2811
Twitter Name: @IamChrisPorter
Website: http://www.chrisporterisfunny.com
Location: The Cosmos
Description: I am awesome at things that are amazing.
Website: http://www.chrisporterisfunny.com
Location: The Cosmos
Description: I am awesome at things that are amazing.
Profile Link: http://comedytweet.com/Chris_Porter
RT @PalmRestaurant: @IamChrisPorter Love it! Glad to have you join us.
Updated 9 day(s) ago
I don't take food pics, but this is my pre-Surf & Turf McCallan. #SexyWaterBack http://t.co/LuNQhRQ7ra
Updated 9 day(s) ago
Buckcherry was on my flight. In case you were wondering what the fuck ever happened to them.
Updated 10 day(s) ago
Hey old guys, if you look like Robert Plant and you're not Robert Plant then it's time for a haircut and a reality check.
Updated 10 day(s) ago
I think its time to form a dance crew and stomp some yards.
Updated 11 day(s) ago
Probably gonna eat Denny's for the 4th day in a row. #YOLO
Updated 11 day(s) ago
RT @aprilmacie: I'd rather have a velociraptor finger my asshole than watch another vine video.
Updated 11 day(s) ago
RT @JohnRoycomic: Whenever I get a retweet at 10:31 pacific on Friday night, I know someone at a bar is not being listened to.
Updated 11 day(s) ago
I play video games for the same reason you dance alone with your friends.
Updated 11 day(s) ago
Stop googling your symptoms. You're not a doctor and there are a million variables. Its just a weird pain. You don't have a liver tumor.
Updated 11 day(s) ago
This hotel is the stereotypical 'artist found dead' hotel. I haven't written my letter yet, but I have good outline done.
Updated 12 day(s) ago
Billy Joe Armstrong called Psy the 'Herpes of Music'. Which would make Billy Joe's music HPV. It kills everyone but the host.
Updated 12 day(s) ago
"@goldenarmginger: I will be playing ball next at Jacksonville State University. #GoGamecocks!" Congrats, brotha!
Updated 12 day(s) ago
RT @kevingchristy: A good boyfriend is like a good father. Love her unconditionally and stay away from the b-hole.
Updated 12 day(s) ago
RT @BLACK__CESAR: @IamChrisPorter IF DAT JODI BITCH WUS A BAD BITCH I PROLLY WOULDA FELT SUM TYPA WAY...BUT DA BITCH UGLY BRUH THROW DA KEY…
Updated 13 day(s) ago
What are all these women that stood outside the courthouse gonna do when Jodi Arias is dead and their life is still terrible?
Updated 13 day(s) ago
There's no gym at the hotel and the healthiest place to eat within walking distance is a Denny's. This place is literally trying to kill me.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
The internet here is super fast. It has to be. Methed up truckers haven't the patience for their porn to buffer.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
The hotel they put me at is super sketchy. Lots of truckers, a bed with no padding, and none of the Jimmy Johns will deliver here.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
“@Dr_TOC: @IamChrisPorter remember what I said about the Royals n the end of May” of course I remember. I had it printed on my toilet paper.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
"@smokahontas83: @IamChrisPorter u need 2 come 2 ohio!!!!" I was just there for two weeks. Dayton and cincy.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
I also liked Charles Ramsey's 1st 911 call when he picked up the deer he thought was dead and put it in his Cadillac.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
I think I need about another four years before I start becoming attractive to girls with daddy issues.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
I think if we've learned anything from all people outside the Jodi Arias verdict is that a lot of women in Arizona need to find a hobby
Updated 13 day(s) ago
This is the bottom of the page....
