Following
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Twitter Name: @danecook
Website: http://bit.ly/DCFACE
Location: human shield
Description: When I tweet, I tweet to kill.
Website: http://bit.ly/DCFACE
Location: human shield
Description: When I tweet, I tweet to kill.
Dane Cook is a stand-up comedian and actor. He's released five comedy albums, including "Harmful if Swallowed" and "Isolated Incident." He's starred in the films My Best Friend's Girl, Employee of the Month, and Good Luck Chuck. He's also been on "Comedy Central Presents" and "The Late Show."Profile Link: http://comedytweet.com/Dane_Cook
My fans crack me up.
Updated 4 day(s) ago
The only thing worse than crying yourself to sleep is crying yourself awake.
Updated 4 day(s) ago
RT this if you've ever hit the reset button while you were winning just so the feeling would not go away once you've won.
Updated 4 day(s) ago
Anyone know any positive quotes about surviving an assassination attempt from a futuristic madman? It's for a friend who's coping.
Updated 4 day(s) ago
This #Bruins game is UNREAL!!!!
Updated 5 day(s) ago
If you're sweating while you're eating, that's bad.
Updated 5 day(s) ago
Girls suck at Vine.
Updated 5 day(s) ago
Did everyone in the world start taking an improv class last week?
Updated 5 day(s) ago
Jealousy is flattery.
Updated 5 day(s) ago
I love you mom. You may not be here right next to me but you're still my compass. I loved making you laugh. I'm hugging you. - your son
Updated 6 day(s) ago
That show at the Laugh Factory tonight was one of the best crowds in the history of crowds. Thank you all for a ridiculously great show.
Updated 6 day(s) ago
If you're staring at an empty tweet box, trying to think of something to write for more than 6 minutes, you need to give up and walk away.
Updated 7 day(s) ago
This. It's happening. Really?! I die. FML. Lol.
Updated 7 day(s) ago
Don't let yourself get too far away from a mirror today. Every time you blow yourself a kiss a baby bear catches a salmon with its mum.
Updated 7 day(s) ago
Snapchat user name: MyNameGoesHere
Updated 7 day(s) ago
I root for most of the people that don't like me and talk smack, despite the fact they've never met me. #JustPuttingItOutThere
Updated 8 day(s) ago
To my friends that had their pilot or series axed.
I'm sorry!
To my friends that had their pilot or series picked up.
Congrats!
Updated 8 day(s) ago
I don't look for trouble anymore. It just ends up getting me into too much harmony.
Updated 8 day(s) ago
Everyone post your phone number right now. Let's all call each other!
Updated 9 day(s) ago
The 3rd exclusive clip from STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS. "Bring Me Spock" https://t.co/FxhprqFPgX
Updated 9 day(s) ago
RT @thechrisarmy: So excited for Season Two of Jodi Arias. Today's finale was great. I bet next season they introduce another love interest…
Updated 9 day(s) ago
That awkward moment you're pleasuring yourself but left the TV in the background on a show about a molestation trial.
Updated 9 day(s) ago
This is the bottom of the page....
