Following
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Twitter Name: @danforthfrance
Website: http://favstar.fm/users/danforthfrance
Description: If someone likes me, I assume something must be wrong with them. If a lot of people like me, now we're getting somewhere.
Website: http://favstar.fm/users/danforthfrance
Description: If someone likes me, I assume something must be wrong with them. If a lot of people like me, now we're getting somewhere.
Profile Link: http://comedytweet.com/Danforth_France
Who wants to go out to dinner? Dutch, obviously. I hear the snert is very good at De Reeshterawant.
Updated 8 hours ago
Pretending to be a giant bird picking up my cat's belly with my scaly talons and she's like OH NO LOL
Updated 8 hours ago
Pretending to be a giant bird picking up my cat's belly with my scaly talons and the she's like OH NO LOL
Updated 9 hours ago
I've adjusted my LinkedIn email settings. It was either that or walk fully clothed into the sea.
Updated 9 hours ago
Lingonberries is one infuriatingly absent letter away from being Klingonberries.
Updated 10 hours ago
Want a vacation where you have to fuck quietly and then talk to old people in the morning about lingonberries? Bed and Breakfast, son.
Updated 10 hours ago
@trismac The Mayans vanished because their crops died due to drought. Maybe you could've helped.
Updated 10 hours ago
Fake tits can give a woman the self-confidence to go out and land a shitty dude who digs fake tits.
Updated 12 hours ago
I flame your stupid friends in Facebook comments so you don't have to.
Updated 14 hours ago
The most challenging thing about reading history is, at all times, putting out of your head just how much everybody stunk.
Updated 15 hours ago
"Know what would be really cool? Something really stupid!" --special effects guys
Updated 16 hours ago
Fancy wife just asked me if I'm Joel McHale. Shouted "The Soup!" and pointed me out to a bunch of strangers. It's on.
Updated 1 day(s) ago
Fancy couple at the bar are reviewing their Key West itinerary on an iPad and whining about it. I'm gonna fuck this guy's wife.
Updated 1 day(s) ago
I just realized this Philip Glass CD has been skipping for 35 minutes.
Updated 1 day(s) ago
You spend 1/3 of your entire life asleep and 1/25 of it watching commercials for GEICO.
Updated 1 day(s) ago
I can picture myself making Alex Wagner laugh at an airport bar.
Updated 2 day(s) ago
Some day when you hear I've been stabbed to death in an exotic port city do not weep for me.
Updated 2 day(s) ago
Big budget summer blockbusters about aliens are always a gamble, so some genius figured out how to lock in the $$$ BOARD GAME DEMO $$$ !!!
Updated 2 day(s) ago
Tried walking off a foot cramp and stubbed my toe. It's Plainview at the bottom of the well over here.
Updated 2 day(s) ago
Put on my Inspiration Sombrero and eureka! I'm off to shop for a new hat!
Updated 2 day(s) ago
Mother never warned me about a guy with a briefcase full of harmonicas.
Updated 2 day(s) ago
Lookin' around. Hatin' stuff.
Updated 3 day(s) ago
This is the bottom of the page....
