Following
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Followers
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Twitter Name: @GinaRitter
Website: http://www.ginaritter.com
Location: Sacramento & Bay Area, CA
Description: 30yr New Yorker turned Californian. Comedian. Writer. Laugher. Slacker. Single mommer. Co-creator of 4 boys.
Website: http://www.ginaritter.com
Location: Sacramento & Bay Area, CA
Description: 30yr New Yorker turned Californian. Comedian. Writer. Laugher. Slacker. Single mommer. Co-creator of 4 boys.
Profile Link: http://comedytweet.com/Gina_Ritter
I'm SO happy my oldest is 17. I can finally stop saying, "You're so silly" and just call him a dick.
Updated 11 day(s) ago
Make it rain? I have enough trouble making it shade. That crap's hard to figure out when you have one umbrella and the sun keeps moving.
Updated 11 day(s) ago
I call people out for that shit right then. RT @bwebster76 Don't waste my time with a shoulder first hug.
Updated 12 day(s) ago
RT @SethKing3: I thought Maybe I have ADHD but people just bore the shit out of me
Updated 12 day(s) ago
People see me and assume my kids are fat too. Apparently they also assume I actually share my food with my children. Pffft
Updated 12 day(s) ago
I wasn't meant to sweat. Well, physiologically I am, but in every other sense I'm not.
Updated 12 day(s) ago
I shouldn't smile and giggle every time my 17yo asks why I'm such a bitch. I think it's reinforcing bad behavior, but he's so adorable.
Updated 12 day(s) ago
Neighbor's kid is gleefully screaming, "I'm gonna kill everybody!" again. You just can't argue with that kind of zest for life. Or death.
Updated 12 day(s) ago
I have a phobia about trying on shirts. I've gotten stuck in far too many and worry I'll have to soon learn how to Hulk it out in the store.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
RT @HarryTerjanian: Stripper in Cleveland dies after falling of strip club balcony. Today all g-strings will be worn at half mast.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
If you're going to toss me in the trash, you'll need a lot of bags, tape and more help.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
I think the toilet should follow me wherever I go. It's SUCH a pet peeve of mine to quit what I'm doing and walk ALL THE WAY to the bathroom
Updated 13 day(s) ago
RT @MarcusTheToken: Way i see it, a rock has never tried to climb me, so I'm refusing to do the same to it.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
I win: Buying the kids new toothbrushes does NOT make them want to brush more often.
Related: They make it so I can't enjoy being right.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
My body is made from 80% stupid water.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
RT @outofpajamamama: #FF @GinaRitter, @absinthe_fairie FUNNY!!!
and @jusmaryT a great supporter of comics!
Updated 13 day(s) ago
I'm giving mine and my kids' bodies to science. Tomorrow.
Updated 14 day(s) ago
5yo broke his clavicle playing. "I fell" is all he's saying.. he's threatening to lawyer up if I try to get him to tell me how he did it.
Updated 14 day(s) ago
I'm unattractive enough to not know what a selfie is "@Scotticles: Some could just tweet selfies all day...must be nice to be attractive."
Updated 14 day(s) ago
When I can't sleep, I don't count sheep. I count how many times my dog spikes me in the head with his raggedy paw.
Updated 14 day(s) ago
I just realized I don't want grandchildren tying me down in a few years, so I better rethink the 4 children I birthed before it's too late.
Updated 14 day(s) ago
Stepping outside my comfort zone is like me dancing. It's clumsy, lasts 20 seconds, I'm out of breath, and you'll ask me to stop it forever.
Updated 14 day(s) ago
This is the bottom of the page....
