Following
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Followers
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Twitter Name: @TheJasonMarcus
Website: http://www.jasonmarcus.com
Location: In your local grocer's freezer
Description: My dream date is us getting to third base on a rollercoaster like Mark Wahlberg did with Reese Witherspoon in the movie Fear. Do you like me? Circle: Yes or No
Website: http://www.jasonmarcus.com
Location: In your local grocer's freezer
Description: My dream date is us getting to third base on a rollercoaster like Mark Wahlberg did with Reese Witherspoon in the movie Fear. Do you like me? Circle: Yes or No
Profile Link: http://comedytweet.com/Jason_Marcus
"Hey! It's Father's Day somewhere!" -Someone finishing a bottle of Wild Turkey before vomiting
Updated 9 day(s) ago
RT @joshgondelman: New from Old Spice, Brovember Rain 23-Hour Deodorant. 23 hours because nothing lasts forever, even Old Brovember Rain.
Updated 10 day(s) ago
Does chocolate kill kids or dogs? Never mind. It's too late now anyway...
Updated 12 day(s) ago
Finally! Something for my butthole to watch while I masturbate:
RT @BlakeWexler: "https://t.co/OVLbtbkqZw ”
Updated 12 day(s) ago
This tweet, like all of the others that preceded it, was written on the toilet.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
I bet rodeo clowns get the best pussy.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
I don't think that every song that's in another language is about me but I have no way of knowing.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
I don't think every song that's in another language is about me but I have no what of knowing.
Updated 13 day(s) ago
How has @kanyewest not put out an album named "The Wrath of Ka(h)n" yet? #KanyEASY
Updated 14 day(s) ago
Oh, no, please. Just call me Crazy. Mrs. Doubtfire was my mother.
Updated 14 day(s) ago
RT @Rinemania: Tonight, @CarolinesonBway w/ @TheJasonMarcus&; @LateNightJimmy's @LukeXCunningham! "JONCOMEDY" gets you $5 tix! http://t…
Updated 15 day(s) ago
Hey! It's my boy @AhmedBharoocha on tv! Pay no attention to the fact that I watch #BarRescue. http://t.co/JUimeyPRin
Updated 16 day(s) ago
Are you use we're friends, bro? We haven't even had sex with the same girl before.
Updated 17 day(s) ago
I bet rodeo clowns get the most pussy. Or the least.
Updated 18 day(s) ago
RT @Geoff_Itz: True story: Arnold and Carl Weathers bro'ing out in Predator is based upon @TheJasonMarcus and I in real life. http://t.co/V …
Updated 18 day(s) ago
Welp, you can add the sun to my list of weaknesses (bullets, fire, bee stings...). I'm like the opposite of Superman. http://t.co/CABXfo9a8F
Updated 18 day(s) ago
Thank you @paulpierce34! 34 is the only jersey I've ever owned and only number I've ever worn #Truth #Boston #Celtics http://t.co/3dTclOhK2a
Updated 20 day(s) ago
Marc is like evil Frasier. #Maron
Updated 20 day(s) ago
If I don't have time to masturbate before I leave my apartment, I'm not going to your thing.
Updated 21 day(s) ago
Back to Boston! #Celtics
Updated 22 day(s) ago
I always tell the baristas at Starbucks that my name is "Semen" so they have to write it on my cup. Then I drink it as slutty as possible.
Updated 23 day(s) ago
I always tell Starbucks baristas that my name is "Semen" so they have to write it the side of my cup and then I drink it as slutty as I can.
Updated 23 day(s) ago
:( everybody dates Taylor Swift but me.
Updated 23 day(s) ago
I'm gonna launch a kickstarter to raise the funds to get my dog a sex-change. That'll make our whole peanut butter thing less-weird, right?
Updated 23 day(s) ago
This is the bottom of the page....
