Following
101
101
Followers
369
369
Twitter Name: @JenSeaman
Website: http://facebook.com/jenseaman
Location: Seattle, WA
Description: Comedian, Writer, Borderline Small Person, Judge Favorite from America's Got Talent, Baker of Delicious Treats.
Website: http://facebook.com/jenseaman
Location: Seattle, WA
Description: Comedian, Writer, Borderline Small Person, Judge Favorite from America's Got Talent, Baker of Delicious Treats.
Profile Link: http://comedytweet.com/Jen_Seaman
Updated 9 hours ago
Tomorrow I'll be in NYC, for the Laughing Devil Comedy Festival. =)
Updated 11 day(s) ago
WOW, this guy is a law student and he can't even see the potential repercussions of his OWN action, that's scary! http://t.co/6lxlILEzHh
Updated 12 day(s) ago
The reason I want it too rain is because I'm too lazy to water the plants. Plus my neighbors hate when I say their car is in the splash zone
Updated 12 day(s) ago
@Bootsy_Collins "If you can't swallow the funk truth, get out of the funky kitchen." (Things I wish Bootsy Collins would say).
Updated 12 day(s) ago
...I remember when cinnamon wasn't a challenge.
Updated 12 day(s) ago
Thoughts are with the poor families in New Orleans, I just don't understand. I hope everyone is okay. #NewOrleans
Updated 13 day(s) ago
This is another year that I'm not a mom for Mother's Day. My breakfast in bed will be made by my gay roommate and our cats, I FUCKING WIN!!!
Updated 15 day(s) ago
@DonaldsDad Nah, the old ones can't cook. They can pop out babies and lie, they are like whore pokemon...collect them all.
Updated 15 day(s) ago
@DonaldsDad I've had 5 step moms, but the ones I have now I like so you can have the other 3. FREE!!!
Updated 15 day(s) ago
RT @daKofi: @JenSeaman i tried that. But i can't look in the mirror without going "daaamn girl!"
#snapsfingers
Updated 15 day(s) ago
The day after Mother's Day is "New Mommy Who's Sleeping with Daddy Day," it's the same Hallmark Cards just 50% off like my love for them.
Updated 15 day(s) ago
If dad says, "You're a comic, you should make a speech for my 10 yr AA event" You better damn well make sure it's not a roast! #outofthewill
Updated 15 day(s) ago
Each morning I look in the mirror & give myself 5 insults, so if a bully gives me shit I say I beat you to it. Bullys hate being unoriginal
Updated 15 day(s) ago
Vine from "The Filling is Mutual" webseries with @Yogi_Paliwal, @TamboMcambo and @ninjatek http://t.co/jEkdQiFjqU
Updated 15 day(s) ago
#FF comics I look up to & not just because I'm 5ft 1" @Rontowski, @kermetapio, @DerekSheen, @anylaurie16, @eddiepepitone and @thechrisarmy
Updated 15 day(s) ago
I thought I was dizzy, it turned out that I was just on a swivel chair.
Updated 16 day(s) ago
@altonbrown Please come to Seattle, we've been really good this year. We even had some sun.
Updated 16 day(s) ago
@altonbrown Any suggestions for making apricot preserves? First time making any kind of preserves... I'm late to the game.
Updated 16 day(s) ago
Kurt Vonnegut - "And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep."
Updated 17 day(s) ago
"It will come back to bite you in the ass," is how I will explain poop to children.
Updated 17 day(s) ago
A Note to the Head of the Music Department for the Food Network's series, Chopped, "CALM DOWN!!!"
Updated 18 day(s) ago
This is the bottom of the page....
