Joe Pettis

Joe Pettis on Xtreme Tweet
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178
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766
Twitter Name: @joepettis
Website: http://www.joepettis.com
Location: Pot-lanta
Description: Level 14 Comedy Wizard

Profile Link: http://comedytweet.com/Joe_Pettis
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Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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@taralynnzy I can't believe I missed your birthday. I'm a horrible internet husband.
Updated 4 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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@andrewjmichael You will get nowhere with that attitude
Updated 4 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
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@_Sourcherry__ That's the one kid that I would be happy to raise
Updated 4 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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RT @jeromehamm: Bought a Mountain Dew an realize I shouldn't be drinking this type of drink is really bad for you .???????
Updated 4 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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I need to figure out a way to get @Pornhub and @YouPorn to sponsor a comedy tour.
Updated 4 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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@ThePaigeBowman Oops. Forgot to tell you. June 10?
Updated 4 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
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RT @1UPATL: There is no Beer and Comedy Night @sweetwaterbrew tonight because of a private event. We will be back in two weeks on Memorial …
Updated 4 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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Running into one's former best friend is more awkward than running in one's ex, but the sex afterwards is always better!!!
Updated 4 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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So it turns out that I was drunk dialed by a @margaretcho impersonator.
Updated 5 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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@margaretcho then who was texting me saying they were your husband?
Updated 5 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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I think I got drunk dialed by @margaretcho last night.
Updated 5 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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Just got a fortune cookie that said, "You have a long life ahead of you." So I guess I will just give up on all those suicidal thoughts.
Updated 6 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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I'm easily the best dressed person at this MARTA station. #atlanta
Updated 6 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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A decade ago, my biggest concern on a Friday night was a long line at the club. Now I worry about long lines at the grocery store.
Updated 7 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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Just rushed to the post office to drop off a Mother's Day card before 5pm so I could claim that I at least tried to get it there on time.
Updated 7 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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RT @achardac: Look who's peein' on the sidewalk! It's @joepettis https://t.co/xcdJNVnqx0
Updated 9 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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Almost wore the same shirt as @KatiKeyes to a comedy show
Updated 9 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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"Man, this dude gonna die with Mario Bros on his leg!" - black guy on MARTA train after seeing my leg tattoo.
Updated 10 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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I tend to date girls who look like they should work at Urban Outfitters.
Updated 10 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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@metooalsoaswell I ended up at 529, where people bought me shots for my continuous single streak.
Updated 10 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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Eating free donuts at 3:33 am. First time I've ever felt successful.
Updated 11 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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@armyqueen08 I have a ticket to go there in June.
Updated 11 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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Got drunk with @metooalsoaswell tonight. Whether she forgets or not, she will want to.
Updated 11 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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@armyqueen08 I just pee outside
Updated 11 day(s) ago
Comedian Joe Pettis on Twitter
Joe Pettis
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@KatiKeyes You just have to book some gigs that have tabs. I live off comedy club/shitty bar chicken fingers.
Updated 11 day(s) ago

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