Following
280
280
Followers
1251
1251
Twitter Name: @KristenCarney
Website: http://www.SweattheSmallStuffwithKristen.com
Location: Comedy
Description: I write twelve tweets a day but only post one, if you're lucky.
Website: http://www.SweattheSmallStuffwithKristen.com
Location: Comedy
Description: I write twelve tweets a day but only post one, if you're lucky.
Profile Link: http://comedytweet.com/Kristen_Carney
Glad doctors spent all that time studying so they could wear the same jacket as a butcher.
Updated 5 day(s) ago
The people who put together the credits for a movie are never listed in the credits which is total bullshit.
Updated 8 day(s) ago
The people who put together the credits for a movie are the most selfless people in the world not listing themselves in the credits.
Updated 8 day(s) ago
I thought I hit rock bottom when I started taking self portraits. But, that was before I faced the decision of what ones to erase.
Updated 9 day(s) ago
Calling somewhere people work a "business park" is like calling a female prison a "slumber party."
Updated 9 day(s) ago
RT @radbcc: Why would Sunsetter advertise on HLN and Tru TV during the #jodiarias trial when most of their audience never leaves the house?
Updated 10 day(s) ago
Updated 14 day(s) ago
I wish twitter gave me two different types to choose between : / jillzarin jodiannarias http://t.co/m2ljnbvc52
Updated 14 day(s) ago
So many sociopaths to choose from! jillzarin jodiannarias http://t.co/m2ljnbvc52
Updated 14 day(s) ago
It's not easy being a pervert... you really gotta hand (job) it to them.
Updated 14 day(s) ago
RT @PodcastOne: When @winggirlmethod, @KristenCarney, @HaelysComet & @TheDaniStew combine their superpowers, you get the @AskWomenPodca…
Updated 14 day(s) ago
RT @PodcastOne: When @winggirlmethod, @KristenCarney, @HaelysComet & @TheDaniStew combine their superpowers, you get the @AskWomenPodca…
Updated 15 day(s) ago
At Starbucks. This girl named Destiny just ordered Chai and they yelled that out confusing a whole bunch of us.
Updated 17 day(s) ago
I'm so offended that people are easily offended.
Updated 18 day(s) ago
You know someone's an awful human when their frosted tips isn't even the worse thing about them.
Updated 18 day(s) ago
The quickest way to find out someone's IQ is to ask them if they know what a good IQ score is.
Updated 19 day(s) ago
Read this deep and incredibly thought-provoking piece on @SUBWAY @hellogiggles "I'M QUITTING SUBWAY, COLD TURKEY" http://t.co/U6B6FlLrl3
Updated 19 day(s) ago
Read this deep, thought provoking piece I wrote for @hellogiggles "I'm Quitting Subway, Cold Turkey" http://t.co/U6B6FlLrl3 @SUBWAY
Updated 20 day(s) ago
RT @hellogiggles: I’m Quitting Subway, Cold Turkey by @KristenCarney on @hellogiggles http://t.co/HEr0rrTQFy
Updated 20 day(s) ago
Just went into DSW. Based on the selection, I'd say DSW is an abbreviation for Don't Stop Walking. @dswshoelovers
Updated 21 day(s) ago
Favoriting someone's tweet = please notice me
Updated 21 day(s) ago
The closest most women get to telling another woman they hate them is not helping her look for the earring she just dropped.
Updated 22 day(s) ago
When a car drives even with me, I'm convinced theyre flirting with me or going to shoot me, either way, it brings the same amount of anxiety
Updated 23 day(s) ago
There's more to life than material things but that doesnt mean I wont veer toward the Mercedes while walking 2 my car when someone's looking
Updated 25 day(s) ago
This is the bottom of the page....
