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Twitter Name: @peteholmez
Website: http://www.peteholmes.com
Location: Los Angeles
Description: Comedian Pete Holmes. @peteholmes is an organic gardener.
Website: http://www.peteholmes.com
Location: Los Angeles
Description: Comedian Pete Holmes. @peteholmes is an organic gardener.
Profile Link: http://comedytweet.com/Pete_Holmes
“@GreatestQuotes: "An active mind cannot exist in an inactive body." - General George Patton”
"Bullshit." - Stephen Hawking
Updated 34 minutes ago
RT @nottjmiller: @IVPvideos @peteholmez in the #Steinski mega-Mix which is better than the album #theextendedplayep sucks compared 2 #Th ...
Updated 37 minutes ago
RT @BobbyFJtown: @peteholmez @ChrisThayerSays Sorry this is a bit late, but I just listened to the podcast today. 500 WEEKS! http://t.co ...
Updated 38 minutes ago
They should call the previews for What to Expect When You're Expecting, "What to expect from What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Updated 9 hours ago
No idea what to expect from What to Expect When You're Expecting. Please some1 make What To Expect From What to Expect When You're Expecting
Updated 1 day(s) ago
Capri Sun seemed like the future was I was eight. Capri Sun still seems like the future. #whatthefuckwithmarcmaron
Updated 1 day(s) ago
"first, I'll devote my life to becoming a master chef. Then, I'll make my name synonymous with horrible airport food!" - Wolfgang Puck
Updated 1 day(s) ago
“@JonPotsdam: when's the next time you'll be in Jackson Pollock?” haven't been to jersey in years!! BOOOOOM! #jknj
Updated 1 day(s) ago
Flying from Utah to LA is like departing from a Norman Rockwell and landing in an Andy Warhol. #illtakeit
Updated 1 day(s) ago
#FTRB @zachsherwin ur mr plow I th plow king/all I hear's a baby bird squawking/consider stopping/u win? Id sooner c Stephen Hawking walking
Updated 1 day(s) ago
Flying home. Can genuinely say, "utah've been great!" #funmormondad
Updated 1 day(s) ago
"can't it be, 'put the lotion in the basket AND it gets the hose?' could kinda use a hosin' down here."
Updated 1 day(s) ago
Bed Bath and Beyond: Put the lotion in the basket! #failedslogans
Updated 2 day(s) ago
RT @birbigs: @peteholmez Turn in your comedy badge, Holmes. We don't need you around here anymore.
Updated 2 day(s) ago
This is where renegade chickens get sent to fry for what they've done. #donenow http://t.co/85L2zwBK
Updated 2 day(s) ago
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