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Twitter Name: @samdemaris
Website: http://www.samdemaris.com
Location: Houston, TX
Description: Comedian. Actor. Whiskey Brother. Bad Motherfucker.
Website: http://www.samdemaris.com
Location: Houston, TX
Description: Comedian. Actor. Whiskey Brother. Bad Motherfucker.
Profile Link: http://comedytweet.com/Sam_Demaris
Happy Mother's Day to all my friends who have made little people. And happy nice, quiet Sunday to those without.
Updated 11 day(s) ago
RT @ChrisCubas: When I was a kid I thought the coolest shit would be a 3 piece suit made out of that Hypercolor material and AIN'T SHIT CHA…
Updated 14 day(s) ago
RT @TheBatman: When you read your fortune cookie fortune add “and then Batman punches you in the head” to the end of it. Totally works.
Updated 14 day(s) ago
SCRATCH THE SURFACE!!!
Updated 16 day(s) ago
Dear last week, we are done. Me and this week are at the start of a beautiful relationship.
Updated 16 day(s) ago
I feel like my love for Suicidal Tendencies (and tacos) has made me an honorary mexican. Now I need to take a white comic's job
Updated 16 day(s) ago
@andrewsearles just hit a dead spot in the calendar. It picks back up after June though.
Updated 18 day(s) ago
As of today, I have been doing comedy for 12 years. Coincidentally, I've needed a new liver for 11. #somebodyfuckingkillme
Updated 18 day(s) ago
RIP Chris Kelly of Kris Kross. You made me wanna jump jump http://t.co/Qd4VJ9dU8L
Updated 21 day(s) ago
Am I the only one eagerly awaiting Taco Bell's Doritos 4 Lokos taco?
Updated 26 day(s) ago
See ya tomorrow folks #nfldraft
Updated 28 day(s) ago
Hmmm didn't see that coming
Updated 28 day(s) ago
Bye Cowboys. Thanks for playing
Updated 28 day(s) ago
Te'o to the Ravens?
Updated 28 day(s) ago
Oops. Just found out Allen has a suspect knee and ankle. Good job Texans
Updated 28 day(s) ago
Well that was classy #nfldraft
Updated 28 day(s) ago
The Patriots trade away their first round pick? That's soooo not like them! #nfldraft
Updated 28 day(s) ago
Hopkins was my number 3. I like the pick, just think Allen or Patterson was the better fit
Updated 28 day(s) ago
I'll take Patterson here
Updated 28 day(s) ago
Wiiiiiiidddeee rrreeeeccceeeiivveer
Updated 28 day(s) ago
No running back for Green Bay? #nfldraft
Updated 28 day(s) ago
I'd love to see Keenan Allen to the Texans But it might be too early #nfldraft
Updated 28 day(s) ago
Bengals go TE in round 1. Am I right in being confused? #nfldraft
Updated 28 day(s) ago
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