I will be at Foxwoods this Saturday! http://t.co/du9bIjaiyL #The #Wonder #Of #It #All #Foxwoods!
Updated 1 hour 53 minutes ago
The death of @mmhastings is heartbreaking. A great journalist. He will be missed. #RIP
Updated 21 hours ago
This Thursday I will be performing in Northampton, Ma. The following link can be clicked for tix! http://t.co/UOMcUrxzIB
Updated 1 day(s) ago
In Russia, Super Bowl ring steals you! #Putin #Kraftt #Smirnoff
Updated 2 day(s) ago
Tonight's the night, Chicago! @almadrigal, @hannibalburess and I at the Chicago Theater. http://t.co/OkYsYV2Zk0
Updated 5 day(s) ago
They say it is only in the brief moment before death that one truly understands the College World Series format.
Updated 7 day(s) ago
This Friday I'll be in Chicago with @hannibalburess and @almadrigal http://t.co/GdvDxxwZFX Don't miss it!
Updated 8 day(s) ago
"GO KINDERGARTEN" by @thelonelyisland breaks the record for most idiotic looks. In a great way. http://t.co/3Lai7tkaOL
Updated 8 day(s) ago
RT @thelonelyisland: #THEWACKALBUM arrives in 2 hours!!!!!!!
iTunes: http://t.co/Y8166h7niK
amazon: http://t.co/APfqoqmbey | http://t.co/6 …
Updated 8 day(s) ago
Hey, Albuquerqueans, I'm doing stand-up in your town this coming Sunday! http://t.co/qARQ6DGBWJ
Updated 9 day(s) ago
Used to get mad when phone corrected curse words. Now I know it didn't want me swearing in front of government. #ThanksPhone
Updated 10 day(s) ago
RT @nanglish: Your mom has to take bone pills because your dad takes boner pills.
Updated 15 day(s) ago
RT @mradamscott: @paulscheer in The Greatest Event in Television History, thurs at midnight Adult Swim http://t.co/WSOiKrjnu2
Updated 16 day(s) ago
It's usually right around the time the DJ plays the Electric Slide that I think, "I wish this was a RED wedding." #GoT
Updated 16 day(s) ago
RT @BobNewhart: Performing at Just For Laughs Chicago 2013 at the Chicago Theater June 15th at 7:00 PM -- Don't miss it!
#ChicagoTheater #J…
Updated 18 day(s) ago
Proof the universe knows what is good: @thelonelyisland and @alyankovic did a photo shoot together http://t.co/XPnpYJmoUp
Updated 19 day(s) ago
Four 1-0 wins for Pirates in last 11 games. Amazing.
Updated 19 day(s) ago
"It's a Lovely Day" by Ian Rubbish available for free download here http://t.co/IMyzL2R0vi
Updated 22 day(s) ago
Don't miss the chance to see @birbigs do his hilarious show at Carnegie Hall - http://t.co/WV6ZVSFeTQ
Updated 22 day(s) ago
RT @iamcolinquinn: If this culture thinks it can move forward without me, they're mistaken. I will not be ignored. I'll Glenn Close this bi…
Updated 22 day(s) ago
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