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Twitter Name: @StephenMerchant
Website: http://www.stephenmerchant.com
Description: Official Tweets from leggy blonde Stephen Merchant, 37
Website: http://www.stephenmerchant.com
Description: Official Tweets from leggy blonde Stephen Merchant, 37
Profile Link: http://comedytweet.com/Stephen_Merchant
A mum skips lines at Disneyland by paying $1000 to disabled lady to pose as family member. Some people!! I just hire wheelchair for the day
Updated 11 day(s) ago
Just been asked what I hate most in the world. Considered war, racism and religious intolerance but decided it's the word "buffering"
Updated 14 day(s) ago
Another day passes and my D grade in Spanish went unused yet again
Updated 15 day(s) ago
As far as I can tell, when someone says "They have great sashimi here" they're basically saying "They slice raw fish really neatly here"
Updated 16 day(s) ago
Queued 10 mins to get in bar. Finally doorman let me in but wanted photo first. No VIP treatment AND I had to do him a favor? #celebneg
Updated 21 day(s) ago
My shoulders are sunburnt - so if you see me, don't pat me on the back for all the great work I've done. As you normally would
Updated 27 day(s) ago
Me at Santa Anita horse races yesterday, trying to place a bet. Nothing funny about it http://t.co/9o4nC0VpWE
Updated posted April 7, 2013, 11:47 am
“@RufusHound: (stand by for 300 replies of...) Yes. But what about when you go to fancy dress parties?” >> They're on the way
Updated posted April 6, 2013, 10:02 am
This may be controversial but I don't like fancy dress parties. I've never had a better time somewhere cos I was dressed like a total prick
Updated posted April 6, 2013, 9:43 am
Quick reminder for UK eyeballs : LIFE'S TOO SHORT SPECIAL, tonight, BBC2, 10pm. See Val Kilmer in his element and Keith Chegwin in his pants
Updated posted March 30, 2013, 9:55 am
My GQ Comedy Issue interview in full. Read my defence of Bob Hope and why I struggle with home video shows http://t.co/jXru3prCIW
Updated posted March 28, 2013, 7:51 am
Hey UK viewers : LIFE'S TOO SHORT special is on BBC2, Saturday 30th March. Here's the trailer... http://t.co/7Y4YsPfwet
Updated posted March 26, 2013, 7:36 am
I like how the Pope gets to choose his own name. As my friend Jason pointed out, much like a stripper
Updated posted March 14, 2013, 1:31 pm
If you like glossy gentlemen's magazines you'll find me in new GQ Comedy Special. http://t.co/QFjUsW4Nta
Updated posted March 7, 2013, 4:18 am
Magnificent interview by bulldog John Humphries with flustering Cardinal Murphy-O'Connor on BBC R4 this morn. That's what licence fee is for
Updated posted March 4, 2013, 12:32 am
Surely #ARGO will win Best Picture? Two of it's heroes are aging Hollywood filmmakers -- like the people who vote for the Oscars
Updated posted February 24, 2013, 11:08 am
Lot of love for I GIVE IT A YEAR. Thanks guys, reason I make films is for you. And for the money. And because I don't want to do proper job
Updated posted February 15, 2013, 9:57 am
I've scattered rose petals over the bed. Champagne's on ice. Restaurant is booked. If I had a date this would be a hell of a valentine's day
Updated posted February 14, 2013, 2:12 am
My new film #IGiveItAYear opens today in UK. Go and see it please. We both know you've got nothing better to do http://t.co/1HsWzBsd
Updated posted February 8, 2013, 1:48 am
I co-wrote this scene 7 years ago. For some reason, it still seems relevant...
http://t.co/0pZ9l8u5
Updated posted January 30, 2013, 5:58 am
Fave joke from Barry Cryer at Bristol's @SlapstickFest last night: "I met my wife in Bristol. Funny, I thought she was home with the kids"
Updated posted January 26, 2013, 9:45 am
“@AndyAdamClough: I'm obviously working class scum cos I haven't a scooby what that is > Nor I. Saw it in J Oliver recipe, had to google it
Updated posted January 9, 2013, 6:49 am
Today as I stood in Waitrose, furious because they've sold out of quinoa, I thought "Steve, you've officially became a middle-class wanker"
Updated posted January 9, 2013, 6:42 am
RT @Jimmydan: Wow, some guy who looked just like @StephenMerchant just gave me an amazing tip! Happy New year!
Updated posted January 7, 2013, 4:45 am
Man at Heathrow coffee shop forgot to give me change from £20 note. Me too jetlag fuzzy to notice until it was too late. 2013 ruined already
Updated posted January 7, 2013, 4:40 am
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