Following
153
153
Followers
2069
2069
Twitter Name: @patrickborelli
Website: http://www.holyheadshot.com
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Description: I'm a comedian.
Website: http://www.holyheadshot.com
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Description: I'm a comedian.
Patrick Borelli is a writer and comedian. His writing credits include “McSweeney’s Quarterly,” “The Onion,” and several Comedy Central shows, and he’s the co-author of the well-reviewed book “Holy Headshot.” He’s made appearances on “Late Night with Conan O’Brien,” “Best Week Ever” on VH1, and “Premium Blend,” on Comedy Central.
Searching for Patrick Borelli on YouTube...
RT @80miles: Heads up. Tonight is one of my favorite episodes of Late Night ever. Watch the shit out of it.
Updated 1 day(s) ago
The highlight of my week was getting these on the air: http://twitpic.com/2a69dg
Updated 1 day(s) ago
I always love it when I bump into Spiderman on the way home from a late night at the office. http://twitpic.com/276bm4
Updated 11 day(s) ago
Read about a woman who killed herself on boston.com. This preceded, "You might also like: 'Icy road kills 16-year-old'" #algorithmfail
Updated 14 day(s) ago
What's the best way to sell a pair of gas masks? Hold them up and yell, "GAS MASKS FOR SALE!" http://twitpic.com/23uuiz
Updated 22 day(s) ago
Are you managing Scalabrine? RT @b_donovan: Can't wait til for the Brian Scalabrine Decision Show on PAX this Sunday morning at 4:23 AM.
Updated 23 day(s) ago
I'm going to get a tattoo on my forehead that says, "I already regret getting this tattoo." (Set it in Comic Sans, of course.)
Updated 23 day(s) ago
Lots of tatted & fedora'd folks feverishly journaling at the Union Sq Whole Foods dining hall. I don't fit in. Also, I'm openly weeping.
Updated 23 day(s) ago
I just received the latest issue of BONER magazine. I can't wait to dig in! http://twitpic.com/23k05c
Updated 23 day(s) ago
#Frieda Kahlo is trending HARD! Let's see if we can't get #Rockwell Kent and/or #Josef Muller-Brockmann goin'!
Updated 25 day(s) ago
Presenting my new photo series, The Creepy Mannequins of Istanbul, #1 http://twitpic.com/22yyi4
Updated 25 day(s) ago
RT @saraschaefer1: I love the new Activia commercials. You can tell that Jamie Lee Curtis wants you to send in videos of your actual shit.
Updated 28 day(s) ago
There's a 24-letter-long word on the door of my Turkish bus. http://twitpic.com/21zwf0 More troubling: Headed towards Iraq/Iran border.
Updated 28 day(s) ago
Thought of visiting this Turkish bath but I'm not up for being molested by a towel-waisted burly man today. http://twitpic.com/21r2zf
Updated 29 day(s) ago
"When every M&M is suffering its own personal earthquake, YOU MIGHT NEED NEW M&Ms." http://twitpic.com/21ll0c #JeffFoxworthyisms
Updated 30 day(s) ago
How do you tell a sign maker, "Make 'PANTY RAID' big. Put 'fine lingerie' in a much smaller script." w/ dignity? http://twitpic.com/20r4wj
Updated More than a month ago
I have insomnia in Paris. Wandered streets at 6am. Feel like Jason Bourne. Grabbed guy by throat & yelled, "Who's running Treadstone?"
Updated More than a month ago
I love hanging out at 30 Rock with my little brother Rachel Maddow. http://yfrog.com/8674496240j
Updated More than a month ago
I so wish this were about people living with troublesome hot dogs. http://twitpic.com/1zycau
Updated More than a month ago
How many "I-have-issues-and-that's-why-I'm-fat-and-weepy" shows can there be on TV? Anyone have an answer for me?
Updated More than a month ago
Raymour & Flanigan commercials make me feel like they're mad at me for not buying a $2,000 oak bedroom set.
Updated More than a month ago
Hanging w @brettgelman at @jwoliner 's bday party. He just said, "Janet Reno is SO ugly."
Updated More than a month ago
His covers are GREAT. RT @charles_star: @patrickborelli That was worthy of Andrew Hearst http://bit.ly/rGpsK
Updated More than a month ago
"Should we outsource NASA?" FART PARADISE asks the tough questions. http://twitpic.com/1xyjk6
Updated More than a month ago
LA residents, attend my show at the UCB this Sunday http://bit.ly/avJsfC The hilarious @Jason23Nash is opening for me.
Updated More than a month ago
Old guy in dumpy LA bookstore to me: "Don't go outside. There's nothin but ugly girls on the street tonight."
Updated More than a month ago
#newBandNames Spine 2 Spine, Blubber Fest, Outside Lover, Final Cut Amateur, ABCDROM, Dream Cream, Busy World, FDR Groped Me
Updated More than a month ago
Heading to LA to perform one-man show http://bit.ly/9nPQo4 Also hoping to catch Kobe's one-man show,"Watch me shoot it 31 times."
Updated More than a month ago
Derek Fisher is putting on a clinic on how to flop before, during, and after a shot. #celtics #lakers
Updated More than a month ago
That's right you ugly puppet (Pau Gasol), that's a foul! #celtics #lakers #NBA
Updated More than a month ago
I think twitter has Aspergers. http://twitpic.com/1whvmi What's next? Dictionary n. A reference book containing words.
Updated More than a month ago
I've always wanted a 5 1/2" statue of a baby that's dissapointed because it suffered a stroke. http://yfrog.com/jdlrnbj
Updated More than a month ago
This is the bottom of the page....
